Dissonant
by Berry's Ambitions
Summary: [One-shot] If she wants me, she'll go after me, and I'll wreck her forever. [Lizard/Brenda]


**_Dissonant_**

**_By Berry's Ambitions_**

**A/N: Yet another _Hills_ story! And it happens to be probably my favourite pairing ever - Lizard/Brenda. This story is told directly from Lizard's POV. I wrote this because I have no idea when _Civil_ will be up and wanted to my fellow Lizenda shippers a treat until then. I kind of pulled this out of nowhere, and it's obviously non-canon, but whatever. Please don't hate me if it's too random.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own _The Hills Have Eyes._**

**WARNING: Coarse language and some thematic elements.**

* * *

I was always the freak among freaks.

Well, maybe not always... but a good portion of my existence.

Hell, I can't remember a time where I_ haven't _felt fucked over by life. Where I haven't felt left out in the dark. Ruby's the baby of the family, everyone's little sister. My biological sister, ironically, considering the fact she doesn't feel like one at all. Me, I'm the scary one. The brute. The one everyone is afraid to talk to because they're worried I'll snap if they say the wrong thing. Which, I guess, is true to some extent. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

Like I said: a freak among freaks.

There's always one, isn't there?

Now imagine how it feels to be stranded in the human world, with no way back home. And here I'd thought I was the odd one out amongst my own kind... I didn't realize how good I had it. I don't like this place. Don't understand it. Don't belong.

And yet here I am.

It's ironic, really. Ruby was always whining about how she wanted to see how 'regular' people lived. Little bitch. She doesn't know how good she has it. It had to be _me_ who wound up in this shit. Me, who was perfectly content with staying in the desert for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, I get to do things here that I could never try at home. For example, I've become an expert shoplifter. I can scare the living hell out of unsuspecting victims. I can't kill them, but weirdly enough I'm okay with that. Ever since I've gotten here, I just... haven't had the urge. I don't miss it, either. When - _if _I go home, will it still be gone?

It doesn't help that a family of humans took me in for the time being.

They're a decent bunch. Sure, they've done this to piss me off here and there, but I can tolerate them. Hell, maybe I'd go far enough to say I like them. There's Big Bob, the alpha male. His ex-hippie wife Ethel. The two annoying-ass dogs. Their son Bobby, a geek in the making.

And then there's Blondie.

Actually, her name is Brenda, but if you saw her then you'd get why I like to call her that.

Out of all of them, I have to say I find her the most... interesting, I guess. I don't think I've ever found a human particularly interesting before. Especially a girl.

In my short time spent around Blondie, I've picked on the fact she's spunky, charismatic, and rebellious. She gets kind of wrapped up in herself sometimes, which can grate my nerves, but I think it's because of her age more than anything else. Brenda's a young thing, about seventeen.

But that's not what draws me to her. There's something about her that's very innocent and pure, something I haven't seen in a person in forever. I look at her and think about how easily someone could ruin her.

I like being around her more than I should. I think she knows that, too. I've seen the way she picks up on things.

Which is exactly what I go out of my way to make her life hell.

Which is exactly why I purposely do things to set her off.

Because I don't _want_ her to want me.

If she wants me, she'll go after me, and I'll wreck her forever.

But then again, how could she want me? How can anyone want me? My family didn't even want me. They're probably glad it was me who ended up here and not their precious Ruby.

I don't deserve Brenda Carter.

I'm stupid for wanting her in the first place. It's not the first time I've desired something, but not like _this. _This isn't just something physical I can take, have, and forget about. She's not like the rest of them. And if anything, that makes me want her even_ more._

But I can't.

I can't let myself give in.

I can't let myself hurt her. That's all I'm good at - inflicting pain and misery upon other people. I have nothing more to offer Brenda than that.

I don't tell anyone how I feel. I can't expose myself, can't show weakness.

Only the strongest will survive, after all.

Brenda's better off without me. She's beautiful, and eventually is gonna find someone who's right for her. There are bound to be plenty of human guys out there ready to jump at the chance to be with her.

But if that's the case, then why does that idea make me want to choke someone?

I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing that she never seems to have a boyfriend. She doesn't even seem particularly interested in that kind of thing, which is really weird, taking her age into consideration again.

Across the kitchen table, I meet her gaze.

I can't tell what she's thinking. I never can.

"Are you gonna eat that?"

I then realized she was referring to my untouched plate of fruit.

"Take it."

She does. "Thanks."

I don't allow myself to reply.

I do, however, watch her gobble down the food, which made me chuckle in spite of myself. It's sad, really, how I get a kick out of pretty much everything this girl does. Pathetic even.

"Brenda."

She looks up at me, waiting.

"You're welcome."

Blondie gives me an odd look before continuing her snack.

Self-control has never exactly been my thing.

Her confused expression transforms into a playful grin, and I offer one back.

Are my feelings resolved?

No.

But for now I can live with that.

**~The End~**


End file.
